Don't hold it against me
by Leyton-equals-TrueLoveAlways
Summary: A tragedy at Tree Hill High causes buried secrets to be revealed. But the question is will they deal with the consequences or will they simply pretend it never happened? Leyton
1. Chapter 1

Summary: A tragedy at tree hill high causes buried secrets to be revealed

_"Now I may have to get you out of here okay, but nothing will happen to you, I promise" he said as he held her in his arms, hugging her. He wasn't about to let anything else bad happen to her. Not if he had anything to do with it.___

_She looked into his crystal blue eyes and smiled. He was her hero. No matter what happened between them or around them he was always there for her. He was her one constant in an otherwise lonely existence. People were always coming and going in her life; her moms, her father, Hailey, Jake, even her best friend Brooke. But not him. Sure they had lost each other for a while, but not really, not when it came down to it. Even in that time where they were apart he still kept an eye on her and when it counted, he was there. Her savior, so to speak.___

_"You're always saving me"___

_She knew that was an understatement. He saved her not only in the literal sense, like he had done many times before and was trying to do again today, but he saved her in ever other sense of the word as well. He saved her from herself… he showed her she deserved better than bad guy Nathan, he showed her father what he was missing out on, heck he even called Jake back to help her when he felt they had drifted too far apart for him to directly save her. He saved her, and today was no exception.___

_"Somebody's got to"___

_She nodded as she used all the strength she could to stay awake. She was feeling cold, weak, tired and numb. All those signs couldn't lead to anything good and she knew it. This was her last chance. She had run from it for so long, telling herself it wasn't true. But in this moment of clarity, balancing the thin line between life and death, she realized she couldn't afford to run anymore. She wasn't willing to die without him knowing the truth.___

_"Peyton…?" Lucas spoke nervously, her eyes had been closed a while and she was snow white. He had so many things he needed to say to her, so many things he still needed to do with her. He couldn't let her die.___

_"If I say I love you right now will you hold it against me because I've lost a lot of blood?" she finally whispered as tears escaped her eyes. She opened her eyes seconds later to be met with his watery blue ones.___

_Why did he feel like he was loosing her? He couldn't understand which emotion was stronger at this moment in time; fear that she was dying or shock at her admission of her feelings. He had waited so long for her to admit it that he had almost given up hope and had tried to move on with Brooke. ___

_The problem was 'you can't help who you love'. _

_But he didn't love her, did he? Was that the feeling he was experiencing- fear of loosing the girl he loved or was he just scared of loosing a dear friend?___

_"I love you too Peyton." He whispered. He didn't know where the words came from and he was unsure if she was conscious or not, but he smiled as he pulled her closer, she opened her eyes and met his.___

_At that moment in time Lucas realized this wasn't going to end like this, not if he had a choice in the matter. He kissed her forehead and held her close for a minute before pulling her back to look at him. "Do you trust me?" ___

_"Always" she said barley above a whisper. She was so weak and tired she didn't have the strength to open her eyes again, but she didn't need to look at him or ask questions. He was Lucas, if she could trust anyone with her life it was him. The last thing she remembered was him scooping her up and holding her close before everything went black. In that moment she realized, if this was the end, there was no where else she'd rather be than in his arms.__  
_  
He remembered that day now as the worst of his life. He had faced death and the near death of a friend and had come out the other side. The past few weeks had gone by in a blur. He was closed off to the world, as he tried to deal with things. His mom was living in denial while everyone else dealt with it in different ways.

He lay on his bed and thought about 'that' day._ How did it all happen? What a mess! _He couldn't figure it out. He just didn't know how to act anymore.

He had lost his father. Dan had gone into the school that day, full of his usual arrogance. He never returned. Jimmy Edwards had taken his life along with Abby Brown's before he turned the gun on himself.

He couldn't help but feel like loosing his father should have affected him somehow but he felt like he had bigger problems. His mom refused to believe it and had been sick the past few weeks, his uncle didn't know whether to cry or throw a party, whereas Nathan was distraught and well Brooke was a mess. She wouldn't leave his side since the shooting; he basically had to force her to go home at night. He appreciated her concern, he really did but he just wished she would understand he needed some space. As for Peyton, well he hadn't spoken to Peyton since the shooting.

He couldn't seem to get that day off his mind; it was all he thought about. It was a constant thought in the back of his head. There were so many questions left unanswered._ Why did Jimmy have to do it? Could I have prevented it? Did she mean it? Was it simply because he was there and she was dying? Why did he say it? What was that feeling he experienced when the paramedic took her from his arms and rushed her into the ambulance and off to the hospital while he was arrested, searched, interrogated and basically treated like a villain?_ But the thing that bothered him the most was that moment afterward, when he held Brooke in his arms as she cried, happy tears that he was okay and tears of sadness for her best friend, _why did it feel like something had changed?_ It was like something in side of him changed that day and nothing would ever be the same again. _Peyton was right_ he sighed; _we're always going to carry it with us. Nothing will ever be the same. _But as he continuously tried to figure out what the 'something' was he always came up blank. The more he thought about that day the more it all began to blend together.

He hadn't spoken to Peyton and to be honest it was intentional. He was living in denial about what **actually** happened that day. Sure most of the events of that day were hazy but something's you never forget. Something's stuck in his mind and were as clear as day… unfortunately.

Every time they met since, he didn't know what to say or do around her anymore. Where do they go from here? Surely it would just take time. He could go back to being with Brooke and he and Peyton could… go back to how things were. He missed their talks the past few weeks. He had been to see her in the hospital with Brooke but also secretly. Unknown to anyone only a certain nurse who he had work his charm on, he'd been to the hospital in the early hours of the morning a few times, and just sat there watching her sleep, happy in the knowledge that she was okay. He wasn't ready to face what any of it meant yet, he was just glad everything was returning to normal, whatever normal was.


	2. Question for the readers

I just got a review on one of my stories asking me to continue with it. I was curious to know would people be interested in reading if I continued with them?


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